In my daughters eyes

This video diary is dedicated to my wonderful princess Caroline.

Thank you for coming to rescue me Caroline.

You make me want to be a better Mother;

You've wrapped me around your finger,

entwined yourself around my heart

created a space where we never knew there could be

Made us realize exactly what this family was missing.

10 months under my heart, forever in my heart

I love you Caroline!

I know that my Auntie Opal, your aspa would have been proud!

Know that you will be cherished always

My daugher.....

Soon to be named "Soft in house"

Godfreys Birthday Party

Well today we had Godfreys birthday party. I invited a whole lota people and some of them actually said they would come, but then no one did. I know I shouldn't feel bitter or sad, but to be honest I AM!

I may just be pregnant, and full of emotions. But I am honestly sad for my son. He will only have ONE 2nd Birthday afterall. My husband tried to tell me that as long as we are all together it will be ok. I agree, but I feel for my son even though he has NO CLUE whats going on.

Perhaps its just me feeling bad for myself, and has nothing to do with my son at all.

Anyway, I'm moving on and getting over it.

Struggle

Life gives you pain and sufffering for a reason, though at times it seems that its one after another. I used to complain about it, and wish things were different. But now, as I aged I think that we are tested for a reason. We are given trials and tribulations to ensure that we are strong enough to endure.

I have a friend who this happens to often. I mean it really does seem one thing after another for her. But you know what? She is the happiest person I know, and its beause she has learned to roll with whatever comes her way.

I am trying everyday to become like this. I want to live my life without worry that I will not be strong enough to face the next obstacle. In my heart I know that the creator will never give us more then we can endure at one time.

So if I sit and focus on my goal, then I know anything is possible.

Have a great day.

Help them to reach for the stars

So today I've been considering how I'm raising my children. I have high expectations of them. I expect them to learn to respect those older then them, to love lots, to laugh often, and to always do %110.

I remember when I was younger, and my parents always encouraged me to do my very best. So thinking about that, I think we all hope that our childre surpass us in some way or another. I hope that my children have more opportunities then I ever had. Which is part of the reason I left the reserve. I want them to understand that they can accomplish anything when they put their mind to it.

Yesterday Charlie was playing "Doctor" and I know its just his imagination, but what mothers heart doesn't swell when she thinks that maybe he will be the one to go to college, and go to med school and become a physician. I look at him, turning into a little man more and more everyday and can do nothing more then hope for what will be in the future.

I hope that I'm doing my very best for them, and that they reach for stars that were out of reach for me when I was their age.

Muh Sista From Another mista

I made this video for my chica Dayna. She is an amazing woman, mother, and friend. My life is most definately better since knowing her. And thank the creator everyday that she and I had the chance to meet.

Happy only 29th Birthday Chicaboo

One week

Elders Meditation Being a Good Woman

Elder's Meditation of the Day
"The honor of the people lies in the moccasin tracks of the woman. Walk the good road.... Be dutiful, respectful, gentle, and modest my daughter... Be strong with the warm, strong heart of the earth. No people goes down until their women are weak and dishonored, or dead upon the ground. Be strong and sing the strength of the Great Powers within you, all around you."
--Village Wise Man, SIOUX
The Elders say the Native American women will lead the healing among the tribes. We need to especially pray for our women, and ask the Creator to bless them and give them strength. Inside them are the powers of love and strength given by the Moon and the Earth. When everyone else gives up, it is the women who sings the songs of strength. She is the backbone of the people. So, to our women we say, sing your songs of strength; pray for your special powers; keep our people strong; be respectful, gentle, and modest.

Oh, Great One, bless our women. Make them strong today.

I found this one especially apt, since I have been wrestling over the idea of the H1N1 vaccination. I have concluded that I will not get the vaccination. (for anyone who was curious, I will be getting the regular seasonal flu shot, and have talked to my Dr. about it, and he gave me a perscription for tamiflu, which will help to lower to the effects of the h1n1 flu.).

I recently spoke with my friend and she said that her uncle had h1n1 and he was telling everyone not to get the h1n1 shot, and that they were trying yet again to kill our people off with this vaccination. Instead his wife brought him indian medicine, he was better in a matter of days.I tell you that story not to convince you not to have it. But I want you to know that you have a choice, and that you must do your research. don't just walk blindly into this vaccination.

It seems that since we have become colonized that our people have lost their way. That the woman whom was once the corner stone of our people has lost her power. We must remember to be strong and decisive and to educate ourselves, not for ourselves but for our children. The weapon of the millenium is EDUCATION. It is so important that our people retain the knowledge of both of our history, and in the same breath be able to look forward and steer our people in the right direction.

I don't believe we are being killed off, that is afterall quite ridiculous, but I do believe that we are being torn asunder by greed, pettiness, and of course lack of self control, and the worst part is that it isn't by some unseen force. Its by our OWN people. I can't tell you how it should change, for that would be quite self righteous of me. But I can say that I am doing the absolute best for me and mine. And I am hoping that at some point our people just open their eyes and realize what it is we have and what it is we have lost.

So today I will hope that all of my sisters, friends, cousins, aunties, grandmother, and mother will be strong and realize just how important you our to our family. And just how much your strength has effected who I am as a person. I love you all :)